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Trading Places

It seems that I've been riding on the back of motorcycles nearly all my life. For a few months back in the late 1970's, I rode my own Panhead. But after sliding it down a gravel roadway, I opted never to venture to the 'driver's seat' again. So I resigned myself to the back seat........until a few weeks ago.

Before I get ahead of the story, I want to let some of "the guys" know what it's really like riding on the back. These are lessons I assume most riders already know -- but then again, I found out differently when I recently traded places with my husband.

Since I had chosen my place as the backseat, I decided to take it seriously. It was my domain and I knew the ropes. For those ladies who just jump on the back and look pretty -- that's fine -- but to those who really want to know how to be part of a team, experience is usually the best teacher.

Some Responsibilities of the "Backseat Driver"

1. The brake light, tail light and turn signals - periodically check them with the palm of your hand. 2. The bedroll and whatever else you have strapped on the back. At the beginning of the trip, reach behind you and, by feel, know where everything is. Periodically check to make sure it's still there and tightly secured. 3. On dirt and gravel roads, lean toward the driver and center yourself completely. The farther back you lean, the harder it is to control the bike on rough back roads. 4. Learn to shift your weight by moving a few muscles at a time. This alleviates butt pain and sore legs, and doesn't throw off the driver if he's not paying attention. 5. Be ready to wave at passing motorcycles and interested folks. Sometimes the driver is using the clutch or is otherwise using his left hand or not even paying attention. Waving is part of your job. When riding on the interstate, be ready to wave at kids in passing vehicles. 6. In many lanes of traffic, know where there are approaching vehicles from the rear. Use your side vision. Be ready to signal for the lane change (don't always depend on those blinkers -- some bikes don't have them, and some motorists don't pay attention to them). 7. Pay attention to what's happening ahead of the line of traffic you're following. You can usually spot a brake light much sooner than your driver. Watch for anything and everything -- brake lights, turn signals, etc. 8. On rural roads, especially at night, you are the safety mechanism of the motorcycle. You must constantly sweep your vision from side to side looking for deer -- those glow-in-the-dark eyes that stand alongside the road and jump into the lane in front of you. 9. Develop some signals with your driver. For us, slight squeezing with both my knees tells my husband to slow down. When in multi-lane traffic and he's trying to get into the passing lane, I use left knee pressure until it's clear. Vocally saying "Clear" works good too. Be careful of vocal words like No and Go which can be confused.

. . . . . On With the Story

Remember, it was 20 years ago when I last rode a motorcycle on the street. Even then, I had never ridden with a passenger. With all I've learned in the past few weeks, I have a whole new respect for the man in control -- in this case my husband. I think he also has a whole new respect for the person who has to ride on the little pee pad on the fender -- me.

Within two hours of sitting in the driver's seat, I again found myself sliding across the road. Only this time it was asphalt. I had read somewhere that most accidents happen at slow speeds less than 40 miles from home. Well, both applied in my case. John was able to jump clear as we went down, but I managed to scrape the primary and derby covers, jam the kickstand up underneath the frame, and break the end off the clutch lever.

I was somewhere between whining, crying, scared and stunned when John told me to get back on and ride. I didn't want to. I had failed and wanted to put my tail between my legs and hide. This didn't work. I managed to ride onto the next city, but was so nervous I finally had to change places again. The backseat never felt so good.

Two days later, we began a road trip to Cincinnati, OH, with me in the driver's seat. I had a new addition to my vest -- John had drilled a hole in the one-inch broken end of the clutch lever and fastened it to my vest as a reminder. Boy, did I get some strange looks from folks!

Riding in Ohio - Look Ma, No Helmet!

One of the first things I noticed was my passenger's ability to throw off my direction. I could feel every little move he made back there, and with no experience with a passenger, it was nerve-racking. The further I rode, the more he moved around (looking for a comfortable seat, I guess -- maybe I should have told him the fender is not supposed to be comfortable -- )

While on the four-lane, a truck load of kids passed us. They were all leaning out of the truck, waving and grinning like crazy. I yelled back to John, "Did you wave at the kids?" His reply, "What kids?" "You're supposed to wave," I yelled back. I think he acted like he didn't hear me.

Despite my inexperience, things were going pretty well, but my passenger continued to shift around, leaning to one side or another. "I'm bored," he shouted, "what do you do back here?" We took a turn off the four-lane and onto a nice two-lane rural road. At this time, we spotted a stopping place called the Wild Horse Bar & Grill, located on Rt. 93 in Hamden, Ohio. Just what I figured my passenger needed. While there, we met "Critter" who not only owns the bar, but is the president of the local Avengers M/C Chapter. We would highly recommend it as a stopping place.

Wild Horse Bar & Grill in Hamden, OH.

Back on the road again, we continued on toward Cincinnati. The shifting and moving from the backseat became almost intolerable. John finally started yelling, "Stop the bike. Stop now." I pulled over in the emergency lane and he literally jumped off the back. He ran around doing squats and leg lifts. "I'm not ridin' there no more," he shouted, "I can't stand it any longer."

Again, we traded places. Secretly, I was glad because the traffic was getting heavier as we approached the city and I wasn't looking forward to driving in six lanes of bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic.

At the outskirts of the city we stopped at an Applebee's. John is going on and on about how much he dislikes riding on the back and vocally told me, "My butt hurts." About that time, I looked up to see a couple waiters standing behind John nodding at each other with those 'knowing grins,' and realized how his words must have been taken. Needless to say, we made our exit. Word must have spread like wildfire, because on the 50-yard walk to the front door, a minimum of five waiters attempted to stop John for 'small talk." About the time we got to the front door, John finally cut lose. "If one more faggot tells me to have a nice day, I'm gonna deck him," said John, as we walked out the front of Applebees. I guess those words must have rang a bell for a couple of other motorcyclists sitting on the bench outside the restaurant, as I heard the guy tell his girlfriend, "I ain't eatin' here either" as he grabbed her hand and started toward his bike.

After a scenic ride past the waterfront area, we finally arrived at Allyn's Cafe, located on the Columbia Parkway in Cincinnati. It's one of the places we enjoy visiting while in the city, as they have great food and entertainment. For us, no trip to the city is complete without a stop at Allyn's.

After an overnight visit in Erlanger, KY, with friends Jim & Edith we were ready for the return trip back to the Mountain State.

All in all it was a good trip, and a learning experience. And I didn't dump the bike again until the next weekend (at a gas station no less -- and I wasn't even moving!).

The view off Jim & Edith's porch.

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